Friday, May 31, 2013

what do you think about school choice?

Public School or Private School: That is the Question

Nothing is more frustrating than watching your child struggle with school work.  The first thing I will say on this topic is you have to make the school where your child is currently attending your ally.  It doesn't matter if your intentions are to move your child to another school in the near future, it doesn't matter that the school is doing things in a manner of which you don't approve and it doesn't matter that you are so angry you could spit.  You are working with teachers and specialists whose whole job is to see each student succeed at the highest level they are capable.  Maybe they aren't doing it.  Maybe you feel like they aren't even trying.  Maybe so many situations have come up that you just want to throw a temper tantrum and storm out of the school with your child in toe.  I've been there.  Here's the truth-you can't do that.  Well, you can, but it's not good for your child, and won't endear any of the staff to you.  

Argument : Shame

Here's what I would suggest as you are thinking through this process:

Give the school the benefit of the doubt.  Hold them accountable, yes, but believe that they aren't doing things to make you mad.  Also understand that there is so much red tape and law junk that can, at times, get in the way of the overall mission to educate your child.  You may have to go to bat and advocate (oh, there's that dirty word again) for more than the school wants to do.  I've said it before and I'll say it again here-you are looking at a child, they are looking at a bottom line and how that child will fit with line in mind.  School programs are not "one size fits all," which is why there are Individualized Education Programs (IEPs).  


Make sure the interventions that school has put in place for your child researched-based.  True, you can find research to support any stance, but have you looked at the interventions that are being used as it relates to your child's specific diagnosis?  A reading intervention program that is appropriate for children whose first language is not English will probably not be a good fit for children with dyslexia.

If you know of a program you think would be appropriate for your child, suggest it.  It has been my experience that schools don't love when you tell them how to do their job; however, it has also been my experience that if approach the person working most directly with you child and share your concerns and various ideas you have, he/she will be your best ally and will go to bat for your suggestions if they are well-thought-out and research-based.

Monitor Progress.  Have you ever heard the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?  If you have an intervention in place and you are doing the work at home and the teachers are doing the work at school and months pass with little or no progress, be honest with the school and tell them what they're doing isn't working.  I don't know that there is a magic formula for 'how long is too long', but I will say this:  research shows that for every six months a child falls behind, it takes two school years to catch up.  Children who fall two grade levels or more behind are unlikely to ever catch up and are four times more likely to drop out of school than their peers who are on grade-level.  I would say six months is too long to wait for something to fail.  I would start talking to teachers if there is no progress for more than a month.

Make Sure the School Teaching the Way Your Child Learns.  If your child has been through several interventions and things aren't working, schedule another IEP meeting.  Sometimes it might take a special school, other times, intervention at your current school and outside tutoring will do the trick.  While I totally believe you have to be on a team with whatever school your child attends, you also have to remember, they are responsible for your child while he/she is at their school.  You are responsible for the man or woman your child becomes.

How do you even know what you are talking about, Jacki?  When things are concepts that someone has never personally been through, it's hard to take them at their word.  I have been through this choice.  More than once.  I observed that our public school is excellent.  (Excellent with Distinction if you look at their state report card.)  Looking at their data, they are very impressive, but they do their best work with the average to high average kids.  I have one of my four children fall into their "sweet spot."  I have considered alternative school placements for my other three children, and at the end of the day, I moved one.  It was the hardest choice I have ever had to make.  I have one child in a school that specifically teaches children with dyslexia and ADHD.  He enrolled in the new school at the beginning of second grade with his reading skills testing at lower than pre-K level.  His first year, he went from lower than pre-K to middle of first grade.  He is making gains at a rate of more than one years growth in one school year because they are teaching the way his brain learns.  Sometimes you need a specialist to do that.  I also have another child with dyslexia who remains at the public school.  I really wanted to send him to a specialized school because of their vast experience in teaching children with dyslexia; however, he wasn't offered a spot.  When I knew that my child would be staying at the public school, I knew that I had to revise my way of thinking and hammer out a plan that I thought would work, then go to the school with that plan and hope they said yes.  They did...to some of what I proposed.  We compromised on other things, and I had to hire outside help as well.  We are doing the best we can with the concessions the school was willing to make.

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When money isn't there and you don't have a choice...We are very fortunate to have found a private school; however, there is a price tag that comes with the expertise they offer. I'm talking I-could-send-my-kid-to-college-for-less price tag.  Some children could benefit from an alternative school placement and their parents simply can't afford it.  So, what are you going to do?  You can look at charter schools, you can look at open-enrolling in a different school within your district, or you could call and IEP meeting and really nail down a program that will work for your child.  You have options and not all come with steep price tag.

At the end of the day, I hope you will be confident in your decision.  I have to remind myself on almost a weekly basis that I am doing my best with the options available.  I still second guess some decisions and I'm still making changes as I go.  I feel like the target is always the same (a fine education) but the obstacles keep changing my aim...and obstacles are many when dealing with education.  Good luck in your navigation!

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